ORIGINAL CONTESTS: THE POUTINE CHALLENGE Wednesday, November 28, 2012
ORIGINAL CONTESTS: THE POUTINE CHALLENGE
Cold, dark and wintery must’ve been the night when someone—in the middle of the last century, in the middle of the Great White North—had a great idea.
This lightbulb must’ve almost certainly switched on sometime just shy of 4 a.m. in the mind of a hungry man—or even in the minds of a group of hungry men (he or they, either way: the inventor is invariably male)—who, in the previous hours, had no doubt consumed quite a bellyful of beer.
Because of all things we know to be certain, Poutine—a tangled weave of French fries, cheese curds and gravy—must’ve been the inspired dream of a beer-drinker, because who but a beer-drinker would dream up this most comforting of comfort foods?
The rest, they say, is history.
With a fanfare of trumpets and tympanic rolls, The Original invites Portland’s dining public to take The Poutine Challenge.
Four pounds of French fried potatoes. One quart of cheese curds. One quart of brown gravy. And just 30 minutes to clean your plate.
Of the rules, there are only two: one) you must sign a wavier agreeing not to seek damages from us for getting your starch on, and two) you must eat all of it, all by yourself. Help from your tablemates is prohibited and grounds for instant disqualification.
Win, and we’ll buy your platter of Poutine. We’ll also snap your photo and tack it to our Wall of Poutine Champions. Plus, you’ll give yourself the best gift a man* can give himself: bragging rights.
Of course, if can’t finish your plate and feel the need to bail, you’re still a winner to us. Just for signing on to play, we’ll give you a T-shirt commemorating your enthusiasm and dedication.
So bone up on your competitive eating, save yourself some room and prepare to bring your A-Game for The Original’s Poutine Challenge.
The world is waiting for you.
*We anticipate that most, if not all, contestants will be, invariably, male. So come on ladies. Represent.