Cold, dark and wintery must’ve been the night when someone—in the middle of the last century, in the middle of the Great White North—had a great idea.

This lightbulb must’ve almost certainly switched on sometime just shy of 4 a.m. in the mind of a hungry man—or even in the minds of a gang of hungry men (he or they, either way: the inventor is invariably male)—who, in the previous hours, had no doubt consumed a not insignificant quantity of beer.

Because of all things we know to be certain, Poutine—a tangled weave of French fries, cheese curds and gravy—must’ve been the inspired dream of a beer-drinker, because who but a beer-drinker would dream this up?

The rest, as they’ve said, is history.

Until Now.

With a fanfare of trumpets and tympanic rolls, The Original invites Portland’s dining public to take The Poutine Challenge.

The goal is to fully eat five full pounds of French fried potatoescheese curds and brown gravy. And you have just 30 minutes to clean your plate.

Of the rules, there are only two: 1) you must sign a wavier agreeing not to seek damages from us for getting your starch on, and 2) you must eat all of it, all by yourself. Help from your tablemates is prohibited and grounds for disqualification.

Win, and we’ll buy your platter of Poutine—valued at $25. We’ll also snap your photo and tack it to our Wall of Poutine Champions. Plus, you’ll give yourself the best gift a man* can give himself: bragging rights.

Of course, if can’t finish your plate and you feel the need to bail, you’re still a winner to us. Just for signing on to play, we’ll give you a T-shirt commemorating your enthusiasm and dedication.

So bone up on your competitive eating, save yourself some room and prepare to bring your A-Game to compete in The Original’s Poutine Challenge.

The world is waiting for you.

*We anticipate that most, if not all, contestants will be, invariably, male. So come on ladies. Represent.